Gone but not forgotten
by Sophia24
Summary: Edward died tragically and Bella, distraught with grief, heads to the cliffs. She dies that day but discovers life after death and more importantly, that Edward is still there, looking after her like always, proving their love lasts for an eternity AH,B/E
1. In The End

**_Disclaimer: i don't own anything associated with Twilight._**

**_Authors note: yes, i know. yet another story. But i cant help it! I'm being bombarded with story ideas! :D_**

**_This story will start off a little depressing (OK, a lot) but it will get happier. i'm a sucker for a happy ending...(i've only ever written one story ended sadly and i couldnt even bare to read it over again for mistakes)... oh, and there will be a lemon...eventually. It may be a little confusing but if you think it is then please tell me and i'll try to be a little clearer. Enjoy!...or not..._**

In the end

**Bella's POV**

It's strange, isn't it? How one minute, life can seem like it's better than it's ever been, and the next- in a matter of a couple of seconds- it can all come crashing down and you're helpless to stop it. There was a time when I thought my life couldn't get any better; I had a loving family, my annoyingly lovable friend Alice, and the one person who meant more to me than anything else, my best friend; Edward. It only took a matter of seconds for those words to be uttered...words I hadn't expected to hear...hadn't even considered the possibility of being true. A year ago, my best friend died. And _my_ world came crashing down around me.

He had been killed in a road accident. I always thought it was ridiculous; that someone's life being ended, someone who loved and was loved, could be described as something as simple as an 'accident'. That makes it seem trivial, that it's no big deal, 'it was just an accident'...but how can something seemingly so insignificant describe the brutal end of a loved one's life?

I had loved him; I still do, although I had never managed to gather the courage to admit it to him. I had been too afraid, too stupid not to tell him before it was too late. Even if he hadn't felt the same way, he still would have known and I wouldn't be regretting that I hadn't told him how much I cared about him, how much I needed him.

I had cried for weeks after I was told the news of his death. I hadn't even managed to go to the funeral because I couldn't bring myself to leave my house, or even my bed. I was too...broken, too empty. It was as if as soon as he left this world, I did too. My personality, my essence, my very soul had been destroyed at the moment of his passing.

I'd been like a zombie for the past year; just going about my routine, but empty inside. Alice, Edward's sister, and the rest of Edward's family had taken it as badly, as would be expected. But they, somehow, were managing to move on with their lives. They weren't nearly the same as they had been; not as much energy, as much spirit, but they were healing. Me, on the other hand, I was still mourning. But lately I had come to realize that I couldn't do it.

I just wasn't able to live without Edward. Sure, Jake (my friend from the reservation near where I live) had been trying to help me. He had managed to make me laugh again, make me smile. He had taken me out motorcycling, and cliff diving, a couple of times as well. I was more alive than I had been, but just barely.

I spoke to Alice since it had happened, but not nearly as much as I used to. It wasn't her fault, she just reminded me so much of Edward. I couldn't step into her house without my mind thinking he would be there, that this would all turn out to be a bad dream and he would walk out of his room with that same crooked grin on his face that I loved. But he didn't. He never did. Not once in the times I had been to his house after he died did he walk towards me and say that it wasn't real, that he was still here and he wouldn't leave me. Not once.

After a while, a few weeks after Edward died, when I was at her house, walking up to her room, Alice just froze. Her eyes were as round as saucers and her mouth was open in a shocked little 'o'. I had asked her what was wrong and she asked me and asked me if I could see him. If I could see Edward too, I didn't know what to think. I had wished repeatedly to see him, just one more time, and here was Alice claiming that she could see him, but when I looked around, there was nothing. We were standing in an empty corridor, just near the door that opened up to the stair case that led to what had once been Edward's room, but it was only the two of us. Alice kept on saying she could see him, crying when she was asking why I couldn't, why I wouldn't believe her. I couldn't bare it. Edward had just died and Alice, I assumed, was hallucinating as she tried to cope with her grief.

For the rest of that day, she would suddenly have a blank look on her face and be staring at an empty space in the room, completely oblivious to me or what I was saying. I remember once, when I had left her room to go to the toilet, I returned to her room and heard her talking. Just having a once sided conversation. I couldn't really make out what she was saying but when I went back into the room it was empty, there was only Alice.

That was the last time I had been to her house. She hadn't mentioned that day again, but I could tell, somehow, that she thought she could still 'see' him.

I had woken up this morning, gotten dressed, and just drove. I wasn't entirely sure where I was going until I found myself here; at the cliffs of first beach in La Push. I looked out at the open sea, the dark grey clouds over head that pelted rain down from the heavens, the angry waters below, crashing against the base of the cliffs. It seemed my surroundings reflected my mood; the despair, the sadness.

I took another small step towards the edge of the cliff, so the front of my shoes where perched on the edge, and looked down once more at the steep drop, the unforgiving sea and the deadly rocks below. Right then, _right then_; I realized I couldn't do this. Edward's death had been terrible on his friends and family. Did I really want to hurt the ones I love like that? What about my dad, my mum? They would be devastated if their only daughter died. I couldn't do that to them. I couldn't do it to Alice, either. She had already lost a brother; I couldn't let her loose a friend as well.

Just as I was about to take a step backwards, to head towards my truck, drive home and try to get on with my life, knowing how difficult that would be, I felt two hands press on my back, pushing firmly and then I felt myself falling... falling... falling... towards my death.

**_A/N: see? i told you it was going to be a little depressing to begin with. I have a poll on my profile and i would really appreciate it if you vote. I'll give a shout out to anyone who can guess the culprit as well._**

**_A big thank you to my beta readinangel! thanks for all the help! you rock!_**

**_i have the next chapter written already so if i get a sufficient response to this story i will post it really soon..._**

**_thanks for reading! please review! _**


	2. important

IMPORTANT!

I'm sorry if you guys thought this was an update and I honestly hate authors notes like this myself but this is the first time I've done this and I didn't want to have you waiting without knowing why I wasn't updating.

Anyway, I have my exams in a couple of weeks and five projects I need to get done in two weeks time each at 3000 words each so, as you can imagine, I'm pretty swamped.

I know I'm just giving excuses and everything but it is essential for me to pass my exams this year if I want to go to University and right now that's my number one priority.

So, I won't be updating for a couple of weeks but I will be trying to work on chapters for all my stories and as soon as my exams are over I will **update every story** with **at least** one chapter.

Again, sorry but I know I'll get distracted from my school work if I try and write chapters for my stories. I think the only story I will manage to update over the next few weeks is my new one **"Gone but not forgotten"** because I have already written a couple of chapters for that and I'm just waiting for a good enough response to post the next chapter.

So, if you want you can go read that or check out any of my other stories if you get bored and really desperate (which I certainly doubt).

I also have a poll on my profile and I'd really appreciate it if you vote.

Thanks everyone! I loved you all! :D

Sophia x


	3. Awakening

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Twilight**_

_**Authors note: thanks to the people who review. I was hoping for a better response to this story and I really want to know what you think of it and whether I should continue or not.**_

Awakening

I blinked my eyes open slowly, finding myself surrounded by darkness. My surroundings slowly came into focus; the calm ocean - inky black in the dark, the looming dark grey cliffs, barely visible, and the sky was dark blue, lighting up with a warm orange glow from behind me– sunrise.

Confusion clouded my mind and a shudder rippled through my body. I realized for the first time that I was soaked from head to toe, my drenched clothes sticking to my skin uncomfortably. I could feel the waves sneaking up the beach and splashing against the bottoms of my legs.

My memories came back to me in a rush; standing on top of the cliff, being pushed, falling and then nothing, nothing but darkness. Had I survived? By some miracle, was I still alive? Hope surged through me as I thought that must have been what happened. That is, until I sat up and looked to my right. There, lying a few feet away from me was, undoubtedly, me– my body. Lying exactly as I had been, with the waves splashing against it– I couldn't bear to refer to it as me because of how lifeless it looked -- feet, completely drenched with water. The mahogany brown hair lay plastered to its forehead and matted with sand and pieces of seaweed. Its eyes stared lifelessly up at the sky that was gradually growing lighter, signalling the approach of day.

A sob burst from my chest as I stared upon the lifeless body beside me, taking in every detail including the light blue tinge to its skin. What did this mean? How could I be sitting here but my body lying dead beside me?

I pulled myself up onto my hands and knees and reluctantly crawled towards it. I had to be dead. There was no other explanation, was there? Another sob escaped me and I could feel warm tears streaming down my face, dripping off my nose and onto the wet sand of the beach. This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't be. How would Charlie react when he heard? Or Renee? They'll be devastated.

I hesitantly stretched my hand out and brushed it against the side of the body's face, feeling the skin was ice-cold. "No, I can't, I can't be." I muttered as I traced the features of the body in front of me before sharply pulling my hand back when I felt something dry, matted into its hair and slightly sticky on the back of its head. I moved so I could see what it was and covered my mouth with my hand, in an attempt to keep the contents of my stomach where it was. The hair on the back of its head was completely matted with blood around a gaping wound, pieces of skull and brain clearly visible.

My whole body shuddered and I crawled away from the body as quickly as I could, my breathing coming in short gasps. The body was mine, but I couldn't bring myself to refer to it as that. I couldn't be the empty shell of a person that lay there, dead and lifeless on the beach. I just couldn't. This couldn't be happening, I couldn't be dead.

But no matter how much I tried to deny it, the evidence was lying on the beach in front of me. I reached up to the back of my head with my hand shaking uncontrollably. My breath left me in a rush when I felt the jagged edges of broken bones and something warm and wet leaking out onto my fingers. I brought my hand in front of my face to see my fingers glistening with bright red blood and the rusty, salty smell hit my nostrils bringing a wave of nausea upon me.

I furiously wiped my fingers on the leg of my jeans and started sobbing uncontrollably. I had died. I had fallen, no I had been pushed, off the cliff and hit my head on one of the jagged rocks at the bottom. I couldn't get my head around why someone would want to kill me. I had hardly spoken to anybody in the past year let alone make any enemies.

* * *

It was about an hour after dawn and I was still sitting in the same spot I had been since I had woken up, with my arms wrapped around my knees, bring them to my chest and burying my face into my knees as tears continued to stream from my eyes.

I lifted my head and glanced along the beach, rubbing my eyes with the back of my hands. A small dark figure caught my attention. Just along the beach there was someone, approaching quickly and I squinted my eyes, trying to figure out who it was. I pushed myself to my feet when they were close enough for me to recognize them. Jake.

"Jake! Jacob!" I shouted as I ran towards him, tripping continuously but pulling myself back up and surging forward. He always went jogging in the morning along the beach. I continued shouting his name as I approached him but he didn't react at all, even when I caught up to him, completely out of breath, and started tugging on his arm in an attempt to get his attention but he kept on jogging, completely ignoring me.

"Jake, please." I begged, tugging on his arm while trying to keep pace with him. He turned his head slightly in the direction of the sea and stopped moving completely, squinting his eyes and I followed his gaze to see the body, my body, was what he was looking at. "Shit. No, Jake. Don't go near it. Please." I pleaded with him but he began to walk slowly towards the water's edge, gathering speed the closer he got to it. I didn't want him to see it because I didn't want to see his reaction, or go anywhere near it.

"Bella?" He asked as he began to run down the beach and I hung back, unwilling to go anywhere near that body and unable to keep up with Jake. "Bella!" He yelled, now sprinting towards my lifeless body and I felt more tears pour from my eyes as I ran towards him.

"No, Jake. That's not me. I'm right here." I sobbed as I stopped beside him, just before he fell to his knees beside the body. His hands immediately went to check for a pulse and I crouched down beside him, knowing that it was useless.

"Oh God, Bella." He murmured as tears began to leak from the corners of his eyes. I wrapped my arms around him, burying my face on the back of his shoulder, wanting to comfort him but he didn't respond at all and sat motionless as tears continued to silently leak from his eyes.

I'm not sure how long we sat there – me clinging onto Jake while he remained oblivious to my presence. I was a ghost. I had to be. How could I be here, and have died, but not be a ghost? It was the only reasonable answer...if that was at all reasonable.

How could this get any worse? I had died, been murdered, and one of my best friends was the one to find my body.

* * *

Apparently it could get worse, much worse. A while later Jake called the police and then his father, to make sure he knew where he was. Jake left my body and walked along the beach, back in the direction he came from so he could be able to lead the police to the body when they arrived. I followed him. I couldn't bear to be left alone with the body and I wanted to stay near someone I knew, to feel comfort in the fact that they were close by.

When the police cruiser arrived it was possibly the worst thing that could happen. It was my dad, Charlie. I started crying again as I clung onto Jake's arm when my dad climbed out of the police cruiser.

"Jake, where's the body?" Charlie asked and I knew he didn't know it was me, my body.

"Charlie, you should stay here." Jake said hoarsely, a pained expression on his face and his eyes rimmed red with tears. "J-Just stay here."

"What do you mean? What is it?" Charlie frowned as he took as step towards Jake.

"It's...oh God..." Jake muttered as more tears began to leak from his eyes and he covered his face with his hands. "It's...it's...its Bella." He chocked out.

* * *

Charlie had fainted because of the shock when Jake told him. The police were taking statements to find out if anyone held a grudge against me but I think they have already classed it as suicide. I'm not sure which I hate most; the fact that they haven't caught my murderer, are not even looking for them, or that my family and friends all think I committed suicide. Charlie has been off work for the past few days (it's now five days after my body was found) and he's been blaming himself.

I've been wandering around my home but staying in my bedroom mostly, trying to escape from all the sadness. I can't bare the knowledge knowing that it's my fault that everyone I care about is in so much pain. If I hadn't been up on that cliff in the first place none of this would have happened.

Today was the day of the funeral. My funeral. Charlie was in no state to drive so Sue Clearwater, who had been married to Charlie's friend Harry before he died, had offered to drive him. I was relieved that he had someone to look after him. Mom had Phil, her husband, but Charlie was on his own now.

I heard a knock on the door down stairs and climbed off my bed, rushing down the stairs so I would be able to sneak in the car with Charlie and Sue. I wasn't sure why I wanted to go. A part of me knew I wouldn't be able to bear all the sadness knowing I was the cause of it but I had a feeling I should go. I wasn't sure why. I couldn't explain but I knew I should go.

I managed to squeeze past Charlie when he opened the passenger side door of Sue's car, and climbed into the back seat. I was still getting used to being a ghost. It was strange people not seeing me but I was slowly getting used to it. At some points it was extremely irritating that people couldn't see me, no matter how hard I tried.

* * *

So now I find myself sitting at the back of the church during the ceremony. There's a lot more people than I thought there would be. I think most of the school is here, at least most of the people in my year are; Mike, Lauren, Jessica, Tyler, Eric, Tanya, Angela and Ben as well as Alice and the rest of the Cullen's along with the Hales; Jasper and Rose. Even though there were a lot of people the last two rows at the back were completely empty and, to be honest, I was extremely relieved because of that. It meant I could sit at the very back on my own and I liked it better that way.

As my eyes scanned the crowd of people dressed completely in black they came to stop on someone a row in front of me, sitting at the edge of one of the empty ones, across the aisle from me. He was wearing dark navy jeans and a light blue dress shirt but no one was paying attention to his weird dress sense. A small frown formed on my face as I moved my eyes up his legs, his body and stopping at his head.

I pulled in a shocked gasp as I caught sight of the disarray of auburn hair_. It couldn't be_. Just as that thought crossed my mind that guy turned his head towards me, seemingly sensing my gaze on him and I found a pair of sparkling green eyes staring back at me.

My eyes widened and I practically ran out of the church, collapsing on one of the benches outside. My breath was coming in sharp, shallow gasps, my chest rising and falling quickly. Great, I was having a panic attack. Was it even possible for a ghost to have a panic attack?

I chocked out a sob I didn't know I was holding back and bent over so my head was in between my legs, trying to calm my breathing and rid me of the dizziness. Edward. Edward was here. That was impossible. But, then again, I became a ghost when I died so why not him? Maybe Alice was right. Maybe she could see him.

"Bella?" His smooth velvet voice sounded full of worry and my head shot up, finding myself staring at him much closer than I had expected him to be.

"E-Edward?" I stuttered and stood up, taking a small step backwards. "You...you can't be here. You can still be alive. You d-died." I chocked out, tears clogging my throat as I refused to let them fall.

"Yes. I did, Bella...And so did you." He said softly with a sad smile and took a step towards me. Tears began to leak from my eyes before I could stop them. It was too overwhelming. He was here. He was right in front of me. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." He frowned, his worried eyes searching my face.

"N-no. You're right." I whispered before being unable to stop myself and I threw my arms around him, hugging him close to me. "I missed you." I cried as I buried my head into his shoulder.

"Shh, it's ok." He murmured as he wrapped his arms around me and one came to rest at the back of my head before he jerked his hand away. I took a step back to him to see what was wrong and saw him staring in shock at his hand, the one that he had put at the back of my head, which was now covered in blood.

At the sight of that I began crying harder. "Bella, what happened?" He asked as he looked up at me.

"I fell off the cliff in La Push and I must have hit my head on the rocks at the bottom." I said as I dropped my gaze.

"That would explain why you're all wet." He said with a small smile and raised his eyebrows at me when I glanced up at him.

"I know. I'm soaked and it won't go away. The clothes aren't drying and I can't even change them." I whined and tugged at the hem of my drenched top. It was almost a week later and I was still completely soaked. Then I realized something as I looked at Edward and a frown appeared on my face. "You didn't look like that when you died, did you?" He couldn't have, could he? He was riding a motor bike and it had been hit by a twenty ton lorry but right now he looked like he always had.

"No, Bella. I didn't, trust me on that one." He said with a slight grimace. "You can change what you look like, you just need to concentrate."

"What?" I asked confused.

"Picture what you want to look like, what you want to wear, in your head and concentrate on that, ok?" I nodded slowly and closed my eyes, picturing myself in dry clothes and without the wound on the back of my head and concentrated on it. I'm not sure how long I stood like that with my eyes squeezed shut but a while later I heard Edward's voice in my ear.

"There you go, you did it." He said softly and my eyes snapped open to find his chest only inches away from my face. I tilted my head back to look up at him and saw him smiling down at me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, clinging on tightly and began crying again. Crying in sadness and relief. Everything from the past few days had left me exhausted and I felt the tiredness overwhelm me as I clung onto Edward with the remaining energy I had.

_**A/N: please check out the poll on my profile!**_

_**Thanks for reading. Please review, even if you don't like it or if you have any questions. I'll be happy to answer them as best I can without giving anything away.**_

_**I would like four reviews before I update next but I'm not entirely sure when that will be...**_


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